R.I.P

Today I lost by best friend. Well, I lost him awhile ago, but the harsh reality hit today. So many good memories. I first met him in high school, while on a trip with a student organization. He would claim that we first met when he was dared to caress my hair without my permission, although we really met a month earlier when we held hands for a few brief moments. (Granted, it was while we were playing the human knot.) I didn't see him again until that fall. Through a series of events when began to text each other. Soon it became an all day thing, every day. I knew everything about him and he knew everything, everything about me. Both of us were so insecure with ourselves. We went to Phoenix for another student leadership trip our senior year. I was having troubles and he was there for me. One night we walked every floor of the hotel we were staying in while all our friends were at a dance. That is when we were invited to the kegger on the 14th floor at 2 a.m. We thought it was quite funny. (No, we didn't go.) We would argue with each other constantly and yet he was my best friend. The summer after graduation we spent many warm nights going to the canyon and roasting Starburst while I tried setting him up with many friends. That next fall was weird. I left for college 4 hours away while he stayed home to get ready for his mission. For my birthday he gave me a lifesize poster of himself. It was suppose to be so I could show was he looked like to girls that came to my dorm, but I honestly think it was so I wouldn't miss him. Even though we were a state apart we still talked for hours on the phone. Then came March 2006. Going to his farewell was odd, but I didn't think much about it. We were going to write, he was like a brother to me, no biggie. I only made it 2 1/2 hours of my drive back to college before I started to bawl. I didn't know what I was going to do. It was so hard. Everybody tells you that 2 years go by quickly. LIARS! 6 months in I was dying. I should have been better at writing, but it was difficult. Not only did it make the time go by so much slower (oddly), I had nothing to write. I had a boring life. I could have told him about what I was doing, but that usually involved guys and I didn't think I should be writing that. That was a major regret. I wish I was better at writing him. And yet it helped not to. I had a life to live, and I needed to figure myself out. If you ask anybody the last 3 months of his mission I was beyond the point of excited for him to get home. I couldn't wait. I could have my best friend back. I had a whole shoe box full of stuff from him, for him, about him, things I wanted to tell him. My parents thought we were going to get married for sure. No, he's a brother......right? Yes. Then the time came. I knew he was home and yet I didn't hear from him. His homecoming was suppose to be the next day. So, I called his house. Oh man was I excited, and strangely enough nervous. When he answered I about screamed. He was home. We chatted for a bit. He seemed distracted.
"What are you doing?"
"trying to remember how to text"
"you have a phone?"
"ha ya"
"who are you talking to....a girl?" ha
"actually yes"
"WHO?! You have only been home 3 days...."
"my old companion's ex-girlfriend"
"oh...wow"
That was odd. I went to see him that night. His mom (who is just the sweetest lady known on earth) answered the door and as much as I love her and talking with her, I was dying. I poked my head around the corner and there he was. He looked so much older. So big, and his cute parted hair. HA! I stayed there way too long. It was a bit awkward. I chalked it up to the fact that he had two years worth of stories and I had two years worth of stories, neither of which really mixed. Little did I know. Plus he kept talking about this girl. Some girl from Idaho. (Besides potatoes and Bear Lake, Idaho has never been good to me.) I sat by myself at his homecoming. She sat by his mom. He had never physically met her before and she was sitting by his mom. Huh. He went to see her at school. Then he saw her and her family.......in Idaho. We hadn't even talked on the phone. We hung out once or twice. I just couldn't help but think that things had changed, he changed. As long as we kept topics general, things were okay. We still argued like we used to but it wasn't fun anymore. One night I didn't want to disagree anymore so I didn't text back.
He didn't die, he fell in love. I've lost him. Somebody once told me, while trying to give me guy advice, there comes a point where you can't be friends anymore. You can't be best friends with another girls guy, you just can't. I now understand.
It is amazing and kinda pathetic that we live in a world were Facebook has taken over. We care about who is on, who has more friends, and on who's top friends list we are on.
Today I lost my best friends. I moved from #3 to #17.